The population of Mud Lake Idaho, a thriving 270 people, and we were booked to play the Wayside. Richie had issues immediately, as the bar was affectionately known to locals as "The Dog House". A large black lad sent Richie running for the bathroom as soon as we entered. Aside from us, two patrons and a bar tender the joint was empty. Of the two customers one sat on a bar stool, the other merely stood in a corner and stared at us.
Management was worried about the show and made it known. Pre-sales had been slow, and they had just had a big party, the concern was that the town might be a bit too burned out to party. Luckily the room was set up well and the sound system was top notch as far as gigs in Southern Idaho go. A couple nights before we'd played on nothing more than a guitar amp that was feeding back the entire show, so the three of us were more than happy with the set up and did our best to put the owners at easy about the show. Then we bolted for the hotel to get some rest before hand.
This didn't turn out to be very easy as the combination hotel/mobile-home-park had no manager on duty, so back to the bar we went. Luckily, the bar was close enough to the "hotel" to walk to.
About an hour later we got checked in, and waited nervously for the show.
Exactly 13 people showed up, and we got rolling.
To everyone's surprise the show was an absolute riot. Richie killed as the MC, as did Scot as the Feature act, and Jeremy as the Headliner. The show went for a solid 2 hours, and we taped every minute of it. Highlights are coming soon.
After the show we hung out for a couple of hours drinking and shooting partying with the crowd. Eventually we took off to the hotel to crash for the night, and that's when the trouble began.
It was one of those nights when we were all three forced to crash in the same room, luckily this time there were two beds available, so with the air mattress nobody had to sleep on the floor.
Or so we thought.
About 15 minutes after we got to the room Old Man Doc appeared. We'd met him before, at the show where it was explained to us that he was a stranger in town, suffering from Alzheimer, and living in his car.
Doc, by our estimation, was somewhere between 90-157 years old. He weighed roughly 16 pounds, and looked to have perhaps possibly a week of life left in him if he was lucky. The poor guy had been told he had a room waiting for him at the hotel, which wasn't true, and there was again no manger on duty. Doc was out of options and soon appeared on our door, broke, confused, and completely lost.
The temperature outside was well below freezing, so we brought him inside and gave him a drink.
Doc, for the record, is a really nice guy, and incredibly fucking creepy.
Richie and Jeremy had a quick meeting about what to do with Doc while Scot kept him company and learned his back story.
It had come time to employ Richie's special power. Locksmithing.
The kid went to work immediately to break into the room next door and put Doc up for the night. Meanwhile Scot began calling everyone we knew in town for advice on what to do with the man. Nobody answered spare the bartender at the Wayside, who insisted we not bring him back.
It turned out Ritchie was too drunk to pick any locks, but he did succeeded in destroying the handle to the room next door.
Exhausted we gave up and after heavily intense game of rock paper scissors (the outcome of which is debated to this day) Scot surrendered his bed to Doc and moved to the floor.
Richie, king of phobia's, decided not to sleep. Deep paranoia suddenly lodged deep within the recesses of his brain, as he developed an unfounded and completely irrational fear of a helpless decrepit old man. He refused to sleep and backed a chair up against the door to keep an eye on Doc, while softly petting his hair. When Jeremy awoke 6 hour later Richie still sat there, in mortal terror, and still refused to sleep.
Doc awoke shortly thereafter and decided to take a dump without closing the bathroom door. We are truly living the dream. We then went back to the bar and told the on duty manager the story, and asked that she please call someone to get Doc put into some sort of assisted living situation.
For reasons that science can't explain, Richie decided to record some audio of Doc sleeping, and making the grosses collection of inhuman noises on Earth This has played since the moment you opened this page.
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